I know I am double posting for one day. And at this point I am relying on my own recollection, which may or may not be accurate because I was so oxygen deprived I began to lose sense of reality.
At some point this day I realized I was beginning to feel a little bit confused. I was forgetting how to do simple things like text on my phone. I also began to get paranoid so I kept this new symptom to myself for much of the day - which I DO NOT RECOMMEND, EVER! Once I realized I was really slipping into something scary, I told my mom quietly that something was 'off'. She said, 'What do you mean? What is wrong?'. And I said I was feeling.... confused.... for lack of a better description. She went and got a nurse. She asked me a few questions. Then got a doctor. They decided I needed to be moved to ICU. During that time, my paranoia set in further. I was afraid they were going to take me away from mom and Ginnie and I was going to die. I was afraid being moved to ICU meant I was going to die alone. I was convinced I had minutes? Hours? To live? This is a very scary place to be. A team of doctors came in and asked more questions, they decided to move me to ICU immediately. Literally the thing I was dreading. I recall one lovely doctor in particular, holding my hand and trying to calm me even as I lost consciousness. The last thing I remember about that event and many hours later is her saying 'Hey... don't worry... we HAVE YOU'.
The thing I experienced that night was both the most terrifying and the most amazingly beautiful I've ever had. Let me tell you why. Once I was settled into my new room in ICU, Ginnie and mom were already there, getting settled into the room. They even brought in a cot for Ginnie and mom got the couch. I recall continuing to feel as if I was dying. And the dread that I was going to Hell was overwhelming. I have been a Christian my entire life. I believe in the Creator, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. I didn't realize I needed it now more than ever. From my bed I very quietly told Ginnie about my fear and I began to cry. In this moment a miracle happened. Ginnie used her words, wisdom, prayer, song and guidance and I felt something wash over me. Calm. Peace. Acceptance. I felt the Spirit fill my heart to the brim and I wasn't afraid anymore. It is the most beautiful thing to be 'born again'. Something you can't describe but wish you could. And honestly, this was the moment things really began to turn around for me. Miracles would begin to happen and I would slowly get better. Keep reading. :)